Recent reviews by splatussy

When I was creating my character, I needed one more perk point, so I picked "weak bladder". Surely only because of this perk I shat on a bed. My friend picked up the feces and cooked it into poop soup supposedly for both of us. But I chugged the whole pot myself while laughing uncontrollably, immediately vomited all over our base and on him, which made him sick too. Shortly after I died because of intoxication.
Then I booted up the game

10/10 game, will eat poop soup and die again.

naaah devs are not cooking with this one

I like stomping on junkies' skulls (in minecraft ofc)

I'm unironically starting to think that modern game releases are some kind of psyop. I thought it was just a conspiracy theory, but lately I can't stop thinking that developers are deliberately releasing poorly optimized games for only one reason - forcing players into buying new hardware. But the irony is that even the best hardware on the market can't run this game on max settings without issues.

I built a new PC right at the time Borderlands 4 released. When I was choosing the GPU, I saw that special deal from Nvidia and Gearbox/2K. In short, if you buy a RTX 5070 or better GPU, you get Borderlands 4 with some cosmetics for free. At the time I thought this deal felt a little bit weird. Like, why am I spending more than 1k € on a GPU and getting a game with Fortnite level graphics? (not that I'm complaining, it's a free game and also an AAA) It would make more sense if GPU was bundled with a truly demanding game I thought. Oh boy, was I wrong...

I just can't explain that feeling, when on my new build with 9800x3D and RTX 5080, I can't play a game with such visuals on high/max without constant issues. Sure, I could make an argument in Randy style, like my build isn't literal high-end, I don't have an RTX 5090, but guess what? Even the 5090 struggles with Borderlands 4. And speaking of Randy, I honestly don't get how he's still the CEO of Gearbox. He should be more like a CER - Chief Executive Ragebaiter. Really, how can he say the things he says and have ZERO consequences? He is basically spitting in the faces of all players. Premium game for premium gamers he says. Like, yeah Randy, the game is "perfecty optimized" and we are all just too poor to afford your premium game and top of the line hardware to run it. Sure Randy.

But seriously, Randy is either a delusional lunatic or a professional ragebaiter. His arguments make no sense. He says "Every PC gamer must accept the reality of the relationship between their hardware and what the software they are running is doing" while also claiming "The game is pretty damn optimal - which means that the software is doing what we want without wasteful cycles on bad processes." Yeah, I mean technically that can be true, but surely Randy knows about poorly optimized 3D assets right? Surely he knows, that you can write infinitely optimized code, but if a single rock in the game has millions of polygons, the game will run poorly. He also praises DLSS and says "The game was built to take advantage of it" and "...humans cannot detect any input lag". DLSS is good, sure. But Randy, we HuMaNs do notice input lag when the base fps is too low. If the game is running at 30 real fps and DLSS boosts it to nearly 120, the result is still garbage because of HUUUGE input delay, it feels even worse, than playing on just 30 fps with DLSS off.

And to be clear, I'm all in on DLSS, especially x2. Well, I'm all in on other Nvidia features in general. New technologies are great and I think we should use them. But these technologies CAN'T replace optimization. A game should be optimized first and DLSS should be the cherry on top, a little treat, another option for weaker hardware.

Maybe calling all of this conspiracy theory is a bit dellusional, but at least we can all agree, that a lot of games are rushed and end up as an unoptimized mess at release. Sure, a game can look finished, but that doesn't mean it's ready for release. I know I'm comparing apples to oranges, but with the same hardware you can get way better visuals in other games Cyberpunk for example (a bit ironic, considering it also had not the best lauch, but bear with me). With an RTX 5080, you can get nearly photorealistic quality in Cyberpunk and similar titles. I understand that "cartoony graphics" doesn't mean easy to run. Like, textures can be super high res 4k, 3D assets can have a lot of polygons and so on. But come on, it's just unfair that a game with cartoony graphics performs this badly but also looks terrible on low settings. You can clearly see how little time and effort went into optimization. Looks just don't match the demands in my opinion.

So yeah, another AAA game, another disappointment in the (AAA) game industry. And on top of that, game prices are rising. 70$ / 70€ has become the norm. Honestly, I'm just glad I got Borderlands 4 for free with GPU purchase. I understand that I'm also supporting the devs, not directly, but still. Surely they are getting a good cut of key activations from Nvidia. I don't think Borderlands 4 should cost 70$ in this state of optimization. I don't think anybody should be buying it unless they can run it at a decent graphics to performance ratio.

And uhm, I dipped my hand into a pile of ♥♥♥♥ and now I'm telling you, that you are stinky and should shower. I know that may sound hypocritical, but we really shouldn't support these kinds of developer practices, not just Gearbox, but the whole game industry. We should vote with out wallets. And honestly, it's not that hard to ignore a game if it doesn't run well, at least until future updates.

At the end of the day, you are a person with free will and you can do whatever you want. You decide whom you give the money, but at least have some self respect, because some devs or CEOs don't respect us.

P.S. Randy says: "If you're trying to drive a monster truck with a leaf blower's motor, you're going to be disappointed." Randy, it's literally the opposite. People with 1k-4k $ builds are TRYING to run a game with Fortnite-like graphics. THESE visuals with THESE performance problems on mid- and high-end hardware are unjustifiable.

Optimization can be fixed. Your personality can't. Go ♥♥♥♥ yourself, Randy Pitchford.

TLDR: just play normal chess or Shotgun King.

I didn't know it was possible to make a game this dragged-out and tedious. Almost every battle is at best needlessly long, and at worst (kinda) stalemate. The RNG is terrible and the balance itself seems very inconsistent. You can almost skip first chapter if you pick pieces that can capture on first moves.

With each chapter it gets worse, opponents have more pieces covering great portion of a board, then portals, then bombs, then who knows what else (I just altf4ed at that moment). It feels like developers didn't think much about the concept. Maybe it looked good on paper, but in the end it's just a hollow game lacking content, yet bloated with random ideas that don’t synergize.

And the most obvious I guess, the game just feels and looks like the first project of a middle schooler made in Unity using free stock icons. Also the sound effects or OST I guess? In the 3rd chapter there are just growling bear sounds? Why?

So yeah, this game is something. It wanted to be chess 2.0 but in the end we got chess, but crappier and unbearable to play.

NOOOOOOO... I just wanted to be a clown forever... :(

I recently learned that people are calling games like peak, lethal company, R.E.P.O. etc. "friendslop". How miserable should one be to call it that unironically. Jeez, seek therapy or go outside at least.

Btw, peak is literal peak in every sense.

Literally half of the community hub for this game is screenshots of testicles

A must-have for software developers

Gimme your monee...
ahh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH