Recent reviews by Crazy Uncle Spit II

devs suck, get tabletop playground instead

I figured out how to fix the game not installing, but man if I said this was a common problem with any other game I owned, I'd be lying. Bethesda still sucks.

There was an honest point in time in my life where I thought Postal 2 was genuinely mind-shatteringly provocative and cutting edge regarding American culture: my middle school years. And let me tell you, when you're in middle school, you're basically the stupidest person on the earth. Unfortunately some people never really evolve from that standpoint, and the people who made Postal 2, as well as the people who think it's the best game liek evar, fall squarely into that category. Playing this game is the equivalent to an Andrew Dice Clay routine: you might have thought it was "fresh" or "innovative" at first, and then you go see him live in like, 2016, and it's pretty much the same old ♥♥♥♥, but it's not as funny as it was before. And then you go back and look at the older stuff, and then you realize "oh no, he was never funny to begin with. I'm an idiot." That's what it was like to play Postal 2 again after a while.

Postal 2 is the Andrew Dice Clay of video games.

The game truly and desperately wants you to think it's funny, smart, or cutting edge, when at it's most nuanced it's the gaming equivalent of the "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banner from Dubya's speech on the USS Abraham Lincoln.

Honestly, the only good thing I can say about Postal 2 is that it doesn't blue screen my computer, or take physical form and kick me square in the crotch. And when that's all the positive things you can say about a game- actually, no, I can't even justify that as a positive, that's just giving the game too much credit for something expected of it, like congratulating a grown and able person for not just saying "♥♥♥♥ it" and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in their own pants.

Just find an old torrent of the Fudge Pack and download that if you just wanna have a nostalgia trip. At least you'll get that one mod that no one remembers now. I know I sure don't. I wish I could have this game removed from my library, I don't even care if I got any money back, I just wish I didn't buy this game (or had it bought for me or whatever was the case.)

FINAL SCORE: ow the edge/10

imperialism/10

dude you suck uninstall the game/10

"queer women make me mad when they're not there for ME AND MY NEEDS!!!!!"/10

MINUS! FIVE! STARS!/10

:egg:

old jokes not funny