"OHHHHHHHHHH! That's metaphor for dick!"

"I have a theory about fuckin' weeaboo dudes and they all want in my pants, so I'm addin' you for sure."

Also "Senpai! Cum in my ass and call me Obama!"

"I'll have the spaghetti and meatballs"

"What am I suppose to do? Put my hand over like her snatch? And be like 'Dont worry fam, I got ya'."

"I'm gonna awp this nerd down mid"

"yeah, I actually really like her basic colour skins - that bowling ball butt"

I'll add two recent ones as they both had me crying with laughter:

Originally posted by Lt. Eddy:

(Referring to a fox tail buttplug)
"[She must have] strong sphingter muscles. Man, she can cut a log into two no problem."

Originally posted by Lt. Eddy:

'How can you be sure I'm the only one seeing this right now?'
'I made sure there would be no one else here.'
"Aka she just took a big shit on the third floor of the school, and everyone's like 'oh god, we need to leave, they're at it again.' "

Both from Sakura Swim Club Episode 5

"It's like an inch!" "Don't make fun of my WEINER!"